I'll return. And when I do, I'll return to you. Every inch of your silky skin will be lathered with euphoria. Your heart will begin to glisten, while specs of gold cascade from your glimmering blue eyes. Electric waves radiate up, down, and through your poised spine. And you begin to realize the infiniteness of time. See, it is you, who is the light.
White whispers fall from the silken sky. Flowing over my fragile form down to my calloused feet. I have traveled everywhere, and I am still unsure how to settle in these bones. I sit in this body aged with delight, and I wonder when foreign will no longer be a place I call home. Bring me back to earth; I smell, taste, feel, see hear. And I remember that only few remain wild, but never are they alone.
Here I am, willing. Dropped to my knees, in deep reverence for the impermanence of a transient existence. Sifting through my fingertips, like that of sand, let me press pause. Have a moment with certainty, feel the solid. Sigh with delight. Gone it goes, never will it be. And I’m back. The water keeping me afloat. Here I am, willing. Flowing with all that is unknown.
I remember that day, as you stood so effortlessly. Your feet sunken deeply into the earth. Looking up to the weeping sky, breathing in while the rain drizzled down your cheeks. Closing your eyes, just you and the big wide world. Hands hanging loosely like leaves of a tree. You arrived and I watched you disappear. But my heart knows it won’t be long before again we meet, where it is just you and me . And we dance on one another’s toes and laugh, and cry, and sing. Returning to the essence of we.
Walking across the white sands kissed with desert fumes. Dig your barren feet into the earth’s softness. Deeper into the sand. Deeper into the softness. Feel into the earth. Feel into the sand. Every grain of sun kissed sand. Cascading like a waterfall on the edges of your feet. Wiggle your toes allowing the sand to fill the cracks in between. The softness penetrates through your entire being. And you are grounded in this softness. This softness radiates from the center of earth up through your spine. Soft back. Fluid as can be. You are a soft infinite being.
Rose petals kiss the bottoms of my feet. I blush. At the way earth touches we. The burgundy fragrance seeps into the cracks of my feet. I laugh. At the way life makes us joyfully weep. The softness of the rose moves my heart tenderly. I cry. For I am of this happening. I bow. For the gratitude and honor it is to be a breathing being. And silence. So I can listen to the eternal melody.
I have been plagued by a society in which I must bend in order to blend. Rules and regulations are created for the sake of protection but have led to much destruction. Truth, an assiduous lover. Capricious to another. It is a novel concept that can often be misunderstood. Perhaps, it is like a forbidden fruit. It waits and waits and waits to be spoken, and waits to be heard. To be lived. Truth, is an ineffable, yet sought after topic of our world today. If not truth, it is presumed to be a lie. But what is truth, and what is a lie if there is a notable difference in how each and every person perceives? The truth is palpable. Our bones can taste it, and our soul speaks its frequency. Everything else is white noise, yet we are consumed by just this. Many yearn to live a life of truth, but are tangled in the web of self induced and monotonous suffering. We are intricately woven into the external world, abandoning within. The truth washes away into the heavy tides as we are enveloped by such suffering. How is one to return to the state of truth under such extreme conditions?
And sometimes alone is not an adjective, but a feeling. A cumbersome feeling that leads to the reminiscence of home. And sometimes home is a fantasy that numbs the feeling of alone. Stars fill the night sky and the moon kisses them each with delight. The universe is comprised of many galaxies encompassing this web deemed life. Each system, weaving, connecting, imprinting into one another. A unifying system that is impossible to divide. And each an integral participant and none left behind. Each significant, outstanding and the center of this divine. Sometimes alone may be a feeling, but understand we are all one in this life.
I look around, and I see you, I see me, I see everything. And then I see nothing. I understand I am only a fraction of this totality. I am part of something bigger than I. Yet, I play such a vital role in this vastness. I am part of this synchronistic phenomena. This continuous creation of ambiguity that intrigues and inspires me everyday. I am comforted knowing that I am part of ALL. I am humbled by existence. We are beautifully interconnected in this infinite sea of love and uncertainty.
Photos of me by Cody Benally, found at https://www.unityphoto.co/